Is Tough Love the Answer to your Problem?
A few days ago, I talked to the mother of a drug addict who’s currently in rehab. The mother was relaying how she was forced to take action and forcibly put his son inside the rehabilitation center. It made me think that sometimes, molly-cuddling someone or begging a loved one to change might not be the answer to your problems. There are times when you have to suck it up, forget all about being gentle and practice difficult but effective tough love.
Tough love is when you say “NO” and restrain the acts of your loved one. Tough love is when you use a certain amount of force to get someone to change. Tough love is when even if your loved one begs to be taken out of the rehabilitation center, you hold your ground and believe it’s for the best. Tough love isn’t easy — not for the recipient or the giver. There’s a reason why the word “tough” is used. It’s tough to the one put in rehab. Tough because no one’s giving you your daily drug fix. Tough because you’re forced to stay inside a rehabilitation center. And it’s tough on the one doing the tough lovin’. You have to endure being hated by your loved one, in the knowledge that it’s for their own good. It’s tough because you need to a bulwark of strength for someone who needs you.
By now, we know tough love is no cakewalk. However, allow yourself to walk that path if you deem it necessary. It might not, however, work for everyone. There are some, especially those who are contentious by nature that would go great lengths to spite you just for the heck of it. Don’t suddenly engage in tough love. It’s best if you try to understand your loved one better first and gauge what approach is the best.
Filed under: Family Support, Interventions
